Creating Cheer and Filling your Cup: Strategies for Overwhelmed Mums

The festive season often brings joy and connection, but for many mothers, it can also mean exhaustion and overwhelm. As a therapist working closely with mothers and a new mother myself, I’ve quickly learned a hard truth: mums eat last. The end of the year can feel like a race to do everything perfectly, leaving little room for self-care or rest. Lately, I’ve been asking myself whether I’m burnt out or just overwhelmed because I’m trying to do too much at once. If you feel the same, you’re not alone. This season, I’m focusing on doing less and being kinder to myself with three simple strategies that can help any mother find balance and joy.

Saying No to Some Events

One of the hardest lessons for mothers is learning to say no (for our own wants and needs). The festive season is packed with invitations, family gatherings, school events, and social obligations. It’s easy to feel like you have to say yes to everything to keep everyone happy. But the truth is, you don’t have to attend every event or be with the whole family all the time.

Try these ideas:

• Choose a few key events that truly matter to you and your family.

• Attend some gatherings solo while your partner or another family member takes the kids to others.

• Set clear boundaries about what you can handle without feeling drained.

  
  

By spreading out responsibilities and allowing yourself to skip some events, you protect your energy and create space for genuine connection. This approach helps everyone’s energy stay balanced and prevents the feeling of being stretched too thin. It's okay not to be together all the time. Families need balance!

Giving One Thoughtful Gift Per Family Member

Gift-giving can become overwhelming when you feel pressured to buy multiple presents for everyone. Instead of focusing on quantity, I’ve found it more meaningful to give one well-chosen gift per family member, with an emphasis on experiences rather than things.

Why experiences?

• Time spent together creates lasting memories.

• Experiences often bring more joy than material items.

• It reduces the stress of shopping and wrapping multiple gifts.

  
  

For example, consider tickets to an event, a family outing, or a special day planned just for that person. These create opportunities for connection, which is what the festive season is really about.

Taking a Holiday Within Your Own Life

Many mums believe that a holiday means traveling somewhere far away. That isn't always possible and we all know that a trip with kids often feel like work rather than rest. Instead, I’m learning to take a holiday within my own life by carving out real time off at home.

Ways to do this include:

• Scheduling quiet mornings or afternoons just for yourself.

• Turning off devices and stepping away from chores.

• Creating small rituals that feel like a break, such as reading a book, taking a bath, or going for a walk.

  
  

This kind of rest helps recharge your mind and body without the stress of travel. It’s a reminder that self-care doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive—it just needs to be intentional.

Why Self-Care Matters for Mothers

Mothers often put their family’s needs first, but neglecting self-care can lead to burnout and exhaustion. Taking time for yourself isn’t selfish; it’s essential for your well-being and your ability to care for others. Carving that time out, planning for it so everyone in your household knows not to bother mum is essential.

Therapy tips for self-care include:

• Recognizing your limits and honoring them.

• Asking for help when you need it.

• Practicing gentle self-talk and patience.

• Cutting back on the extras and just focusing on what needs to be done today or this week.

  
  

When you nurture yourself, you model healthy habits for your children and create a more joyful family environment.

Final Thoughts on Managing Festive Overwhelm

The festive season comes with a lot of expectations, so discussing those expectations with your family beforehand will be a protective factor. Be clear about what your non-negotiables are and be open about what you don't want to be doing over the holidays. Once those expectations are out in the open, they are instantly easier to manage and work towards. However, remembering that life rarely goes to plan and some of the best moments are the ones we don't plan for can create room for that extra bit of Christmas magic to sneak its head in.

Take care of yourself and remember to enjoy the season.